Jack Frosted Our Green Tomatoes!

So what to do with gobs of little green tomatoes? 

Exactly what every modern woman does . . .

(and if you are reading this post --- you are a modern woman!)

thanks to
http://www.wpclipart.com/food/fruit/tomato/green_tomatoes_picture.jpg
for this perfect-for-my-blog-topic photo

Search the internet!!!

And, pardon the pun, it was a very fruitful search.  Yes, a tomato is a fruit even though we consider it a vegetable.

I discovered recipes for:  

• Green Tomato Pie, which they claim tastes just like apple
• Fried Green Tomato Pie which a tomato-hater loved anytime--       breakfast, lunch and dinner!
• Un-fried Green Tomatoes for the health-conscious
• Green Tomato Oatmeal Bars whose claim to fame is they taste like fig bars
• Curried Green Tomato Sauce that, while not tasting like chicken, is great with chicken
• and
• Green Tomato Salsa Verde 

and finally decided to try the first recipe I came across . . .

Green Tomato Bread

3 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon cinnamon
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup water
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups finely chopped green tomatoes* 
1-1/2 chopped pecans or walnuts, if desired

* green tomatoes are firm so all you need to do  is wash them, slice off the stem end, slice them and chop them up. I used my small food processor to do the chopping part.

Thoroughly combine the dry ingredients in large bowl. Make a well in center. In small bowl, beat the eggs lightly with a fork and stir in the oil, water and vanilla. Pour into the well in the dry ingredients and stir just until moistened. Fold in the tomatoes and nuts.

Spoon batter into  2 greased and floured 8-1/2 x 4-1/2 inch loaf pans. Bake in preheated 350 degree oven for 45 minutes to one hour --- the bread will have pulled away from edges of pan and if you poke a toothpick in the center it will come out clean. Cool bread in pans on wire rack for 10 minutes, then remove and cool completely on the wire rack.

It is really good!and tastes similar to zucchini bread.  The fun part is the bright green little chunks.  One person wrote that  she took a loaf to work and everyone loved it but no one could guess the "secret" ingredient.

'til we eat again,
         Simply, Gail

Combating the War Against the Family . . . Part 3

How Do We Teach our Children Responsible Behavior 

                         Note: This post is part of an ongoing series on the war that is being waged against families and
                                  family values---and what we can do to strengthen and protect ours.I teach a Sunday
                                  School class on strengthening the family and parenting skills. The lesson manual is
                                  terrific, the points "right on" and the suggestions doable. Each week, usually Fridays,          
                                  I am including some of the information from that class. 

Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 

"If you want responsible 
children give them 
responsibilities and part 
of the responsibility is 
they have to make the choice. . ."
        from Family Answers DVD


It is not hard to be an example --the most important thing is to be a GOOD example!

There have been many "scientific" teaching methods put forth through the years but the one important, consistent, no-fail method is to teach as Jesus Christ taught.  Our Lord and Savior taught by example. He taught ---

• forgiveness by forgiving
• compassion by being compassionate and 
• devotion by giving of Himself.

Parents cannot be hypocrites. Our children will remember our examples more than anything else we do or say.

Many parents are afraid to ask their children to do chores or make behavior changes, fearing the child will say no or resent or reject them for asking. Many parents don't have the courage to be "in control."  (which is different than "controlling.")

Consider this: Fear of being disliked should not be a problem for parents. The parent's responsibility is to be just that ---  the parent --- not a friend or peer. 

Children are constantly learning and little children want to help.  We must take the time to show them how and to let them, even when we know it will take more time. 

We must also make sure we are very clear in our directions. Take the time to make sure they understand what you want.  To see one of my (poor) examples go to:
http://thecreativecheapskate.blogspot.com/2011/09/what-we-think-we-say-what-our-kids-hear.html

Teaching children to perform simple actions are stepping stones to the behavior expected of them as adults. Even though it takes effort for parents to help their children become cooperative, helpful and responsible individuals, making that effort can prevent many problems as they mature. 

1. Children that are old enough to pick up a toy to play with are old enough to be shown how to put it away.

2. Clearly explain and show what you want the child to do.  

2. You will probably have to show and tell them several times before they get the idea. 

3. It is very important that you take the time to be consistent in your teaching and expectations --- and the follow through.

Consider this: Our children want our attention, they seek our attention --- and will do what is necessary to gain our attention. Think about the percentage of time we recognize their good behavior compared to the their unacceptable behavior. Is it disproportionate? 

4. After a request has been completed show appreciation and positive feedback. Tell how what they did benefited you and others.  

5. When you express appreciation be specific --- say I appreciate what you did (filling in the act) NOT just I appreciate you.  Do you see the difference?

6. Gradually increase the complexity of their chore, or the type of chore , as they progress.

Consider this:  Do we like to be told what to do? Or be told to "do it right now!" Are children any different? Orders usually provoke resistance and/or alternatives like "I'll do it later."

Children cooperate more readily when they can choose between two acceptable alternatives. When children are allowed to make a choice, it helps them take responsibility.

We tried to give our children a 10 minute notice or warning before it was time to quit (or start) something. That helped a lot.

7. Make sure the choices you offer are acceptable to you.
example 1: "I would like you to pick up your clothes before you go out to play this afternoon. Would you like to pick them up now before the bus comes, or as soon as you come home from school?"

example 2: If you were to say "You can mow the lawn now, or you can forget about using the car tomorrow night," the child may choose to leave the car and go with friends instead. The child gets what he wants and the lawn remains unmowed, an unacceptable outcome to you.  It is better to say, "You can mow the lawn today, or you can clean the garage for me so I'll have time to mow the lawn" --- where both options are agreeable to you and the child has a choice.

8. Make sure the choices you offer are limited enough to be understood and not overwhelming or subject to a choice that would not be acceptable to you.
example:"Would you like to wear this or this (holding up two items)" rather than going to the closet and saying "What would you like to wear?"

For more examples click on http://thecreativecheapskate.blogspot.com/2011/09/kids-and-art-of-giving-them-control.html

9. Use the word "When" not  "If."  Consider the difference.  
                                               
example: "We will go for ice cream (fill in the above words) you finish cleaning your room."
                                   WHEN is the result  -- IF is a bribe.

10. Choices should not involve punishment: "You can mow the lawn now, or you are grounded for a month." This statement offers no real choice ("you must do as I say or I will punish you") and instead of teaching, will provoke feelings of resentment.

Consider this: from the Family Answers DVD -- Discipline helps a child learn  --- Punishment helps a parent who has been hurt (or angry) feel better.

Be Prepared for. . .
kids that are not eager to go along with new changes that require them to behave responsibly. You may hear "That's not fair," "why do I have to do this?" "Other parents don't make their kids do that," etc. Don't be manipulated by such comments.

And Prepare to . . .
be consistent in the matter of choices, and the necessity of repeating the choices several times. When the know you really mean it they will finally comply. 

It is important you do all of this without becoming defensive or angry. Do not argue.
If your child wants to debate the matter you can acknowledge his or her comments with a brief statement such as "That may be true" ... and then restate the choice. Again, you may to repeat this but that is okay. You are the parent.  Do not let your children manipulate you. 

Consider this: When they start realizing that you mean what you say --- your life, and theirs, will get a lot easier.

And, Finally the Possibility Exists that . . .
your child refuses to comply when given choices. Then, you the parent need to impose a consequence that logically relates to the misbehavior. Proper consequences make sense (even when they don't like them) and will help them learn responsible behavior.

If a consequence is disproportionate or unrelated to the offense, it may seem unreasonable, arbitrary and excessive, provoking the child to feel angry, resentful and rebellious. 

If you realize the consequence you imposed  is not in keeping with the offense should you
...just let it slide without saying anything? or
...apologize to your child, saying it was too extreme and reissue a more reasonable one?


What does the first one "say" to your child? Does it come across as "empty threats"?

What are the benefits of your child hearing that you also make mistakes and are willing to apologize and take steps to correct them?

Consider this:
"If parents do not discipline their children and teach them to obey, society may discipline them in a way neither the parents nor the children will like. Without discipline and obedience in the home, the unity of the family collapses. Greater peace and happiness will come to your family as you lovingly teach your children to obey the commandments of God and the rules of home and society."  (from the lesson manual)

Dave and I tried hard not to have double standards --- we didn't see R-rated movies or engage in other inappropriate activities that society would have us believe are acceptable for grown-ups. We let our children know where we were going and when to expect us home --- and we called when our plans changed. We had the same respect for them as we expected from them.

Participate, as much as possible, in activities with your children, whether working or playing together. This allows opportunity for teaching and examples that the children can then incorporate in their lives.

These Things I Wish for You...

by Lee Pitts

"We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. Instead of an allowance, we gave them credit cards. Instead of a spanking, we gave them drugs. Instead of our time, we gave them day care. Personally, I want more than that for America's young future. For the grandchildren of my generation, these things I wish for you..."


Teaching children to be responsible does not have to that complicated. Simply, the three most important ways we can teach are:





Example
Example
EXAMPLE


Watch for Part 4: Applying Consequences                                                                                                                                               

Kiddie Cafe --- THE Place for Children or Grandchildren who are Visiting

When it was homemade pizza night at our home I would make four       cookie-sheet-size-pizzas and visually divide each in half.  I kept a list on the side of the refrigerator showing what toppings each member of the family liked and topped each half pizza accordingly.  It saved a lot of hassles and everyone was happy!

I recalled that idea years later (and years ago) when our married families and their children were coming to visit. It evolved into
          Papa and Grandma’s KIDDIE CAFE'

With the holidays approaching, and their accompanying family gatherings, I wanted to share this idea for serving young children.

The menu choices were not what was special — it was simply the way the choices were presented. The menu allowed the children to choose what they wanted to eat from items that were, for the most part, actually cupboard staples.

The menu shown was one for a simple, no-special-occasion lunch, but it could be modified for any event.

This is the menu that was mailed to each family before the visit.

This page, one for each child, was mailed along with the menu. Each child made their selections and their mom mailed them 

back to me. 

And this is the "order" form where I listed their choices!

This is a 4th of July "menu" when part of our family was going to be visiting for the holiday weekend.

The Pluses?

1. Kids love to get mail and this made them feel special.
2. They were excited to be able to choose what they were going to eat.
3. It simplified the actual meal time preparation (in part because we had the “proof” of what each child requested).


The Minuses?

None!  Even the time it took to create them was lots of fun — not to mention the anticipation of their reaction when they got their own mail.

I am simply, Gail, and this is another example of how simple, and how cheap,  it is to create memories that last.

Combating the War Against the Family. . . Part 2

This is part two in an ongoing series about the war that is being waged against families and family values---and what we can do to strengthen and protect ours.

I teach a Sunday School class on strengthening the family and parenting skills. The lesson manual is terrific, the points "right on" and the suggestions doable. I am including, in my blog, some of the information from that class. 

The class manual, Strengthening the Family, outlines

     Nine Principles for Successful Parenting 

and recommends you consider how well you follow these principles in your personal and   family life.

The manual suggests you select a principle, identify how you can follow it better, and concentrate on improving in that area.  When you have begun to implement that principle successfully, it asks that you choose another principle that will help you, your marriage and your family—continuing with this process as long as it seems appropriate.*


FAITH - Parents should teach children to have faith in Jesus Christ and use their growing faith in gospel principles to govern their personal lives (see Matthew 17:20, Hebrews 11:6, 3 Nephi 18:20, D&C 68:25).

PRAYER - Children should learn to pray individually and as a family. Children can learn early about the power of prayer (see Enos 1:1-5, Mosiah 27:8-14, Alma 34:17-27, 3 Nephi 18:21).

REPENTANCE - Parents should acknowledge, confess, and forsake sins so that they can enjoy the guiding influence of the Holy Ghost. They can help their children understand and apply these principles in their lives (see Alma 34:33, 3 Nephi 9:22, Moroni 10:32-33, D&C 6:9 and 58:42-43).

FORGIVENESS - Parents can be an example of forgiveness by forgiving themselves, their spouses, and their children for shortcomings (see Matthew 6:14-15, Ephesians 4:32, Mosiah 26:29-31; D&C 64:8-10).

RESPECT - Family members are to learn to respect one another. Parents and children can learn to treat each other with courtesy and tenderness, holding each other in highest esteem (see Mark 9:42; D&C 121:41-46). Parents should try to eliminate critical thoughts and words about each other and their children.

LOVE - Parents are to love their children in the manner described by Paul, Alma, and Mormon — with patience, kindness, gentleness, unselfishness, and humility (See 1 Corinthians 13; Alma 7:23-24, Moroni 7:45-48).

COMPASSION - Parents can show compassion for each other and for their children. They should feel sorrow for the adversities experienced by family members and seek to understand and support family members during their difficult times (see Ruth 1:11-17; Zechariah 7:8-10, Luke 15:11-32).

WORK - Family work gives children opportunities to learn to appreciate work and to feel the satisfaction of accomplishment (see D&C 42:42, 58: 27-28), especially as parents and children work together. Work should be tailored to the age and abilities of children to foster feelings of success and confidence.

WHOLESOME RECREATION - Families are strengthened and revitalized when family members join in wholesome, enjoyable activities.

* I was fascinated when I read that Benjamin Franklin, one of the Fathers of America, sought to constantly improve himself by using a plan of 13 virtues, which he developed in 1726 at the age 20. He followed this plan for the attainment of moral perfection, mainly by writing each on a card and working on one virtue at a time, repeatedly for all of his life. 

When is it too late to start?

Never!

Life is hard. Time can easily slip away. Don’t we all ask “where does the time go?” Yet, realistically, don't  we manage to find the time/make the time for the things that matter most? For the things we really want to do?

We are all human and have probably made many mistakes along the way. Maybe for years we have done the wrong thing but this information is to help us change that.  I find the following quote very simple, very profound, and  very encouraging.

“The very next breath you take, the very next word you say, the very next step you take can be in a different direction.”
                                                                           Family Answers (for a more loving family) DVD

Watch for Part 3: Teaching Children Responsible Behavior--- Choices  and Consequences

Combating the War Against the Family . . . Part 1

Parenting is, without question, the most important responsibility/activity in the world. 

Parenting should be our most expensive commitment—in time, effort, and expended energy. The money part comes in last. 

Why? 

        The greatest work we will ever do will be 

          within the walls of our own home.

                                                                     David O. McKay

Most aspects of our culture and society in general are increasingly trying to downplay and to diminish the importance of parenting. Happy and harmonious homes are a blessing to parents and to children. A good family is the foundation of all of life and Satan is raging --- trying by all possible means to destroy it.

The Bible  warns us that the time would come that good would be made to seem evil and evil would be made to seem good. Isaiah 5:20.  

That time is here!!! 

A very loud minority are in our faces everywhere we turn, trying to convince us — the majority of honest, moral, law-abiding citizens—that we are the ones that have it all wrong. 

Our children are faced every day with horrible things that most of us never experienced, not even once, in our growing-up years. 

We must open our eyes to what is going on around us!

From years ago. . . a warning of society’s decline:

1. First we abhor
2. Next we endure
3. Finally we embrace

Where are we now?

1. First think of the things that were unthinkable not many years ago.

2. Next consider the things that, while we still may not approve, we have come to               accept after seeing them and hearing them at every turn and on every front as 
“that’s just the way it is these days.”

3. Finally, realize the things that have gradually worked themselves in to be a part of our lives – the television programs and movies we watch, the books we read, the language we use, the clothing we accept as acceptable.

Most of the clergy from most of the religions are trying desperately to help us see what is happening to the family — to help us recognize the moral enemies that bombard us — especially our impressionable children. 


I have just been assigned to teach a Sunday School class on Strengthening the Family and parenting skills. It is a huge responsibility. The lesson manual is terrific, the points “right on” and the suggestions doable.  The subjects include:

Understand child development and have realistic expectations of your children
Learn to communicate more effectively with your spouse and children
Know how to nurture children through emotional and troubling times
Know how to instill confidence in children
Resolve anger issues that may impede effective parenting
Resolve parent-child conflict
Understand how to teach children responsible behavior
Use consequences in disciplining children
Provide a better home environment in which the Spirit of the Lord can dwell

While I share this important information with a few each week in class,  I will be including parts from  the manual in my blog to share with you.  

Good parenting is not a matter of chance or circumstances.  Good parenting has nothing to do with where you live, how much education you have, what your occupation and/or social status is, how big your house is, how much money you make or how much “stuff” you have, Happy, harmonious homes are a blessing to parents and to children. 

Good parenting IS a matter of choice— the choice to expend your time and energy in what matters most.  And, if your family is not currently what matters most, you need to reorder your priorities. 

To paraphrase a credit card commercial:   Children are Priceless and. . . for the rest there is MasterCard. Children cannot be bought!

How do children spell love?   T-I-M-E


Next:  Combating the War Against the Family Part 2 -- Nine Principles for Successful Parenting

A Christmas Calendar That Keeps You on Track Visually

Counting the Days Really Does Make the Days Count

If the instructions on my post (earlier today) were confusing,

here is a sample I made up on the computer, using clip art,  

four years ago.

The only way I could make it large enough for you to see was to turn it sideways.

Sorry 'bout that!

Something important to consider and remember:

Very, very often it's the little things that create memories . . .

great memories that last a lifetime !

"reading this brought back so many memories , Mom! so many wonderful times!!!! (i had forgotten about how we used to check off the days with weird lines. ha!) no wonder Christmas is still my favorite holiday... Jeremy"

A Christmas Calendar That Keeps You on Track

We made our first Christmas calendar for basically selfish reasons. Our first two children were very young, but old enough to know that the big event was coming up, and we were getting tired of them asking "how many days until..."  And they weren't old enough to read.

As with so many things, over time it evolved into much more. It kept us on track during this hectic time of year, and it committed us to doing what we had said we would do----at times when it is so easy to let things just slip by, either intentionally or unintentionally.

Our December activities actually began the last couple days of November. 

With a black marking pen, one of the parents would make a December calendar on a full sheet of poster board. 

We would all gather around our big table.

A stack of November and December "women's" magazines (mainly old issues we reused for several years, along with one or two new ones), pairs of scissors, clear tape and glue were piled in the center.

The first order of business would be to compile a master list of all the thing we wanted or needed to do in December. It was a long list---getting the tree, decorating the tree, putting up outside lights, baking cookies, etc. 

Only Child Outings!

There was one evening allotted for each child to go gift shopping with us, ending with a stop at an eating place of their choice for a treat of their choice. (What began with two kids quite quickly grew to six, so Dave and I got lots of treats!)

Alongside the activities that had specific dates ---- arrival time of family members or relatives, church and school programs, Christmas eve, Christmas day ---- we noted the dates. These are the events that would be penciled in on the calendar first.  Each person chose an event and began to search the magazines for a picture that would represent it, cut it out, and fasten it on the appropriate day.

Next we decided on dates for each of the remaining activities and began searching, cutting and pasting.

The completed calendar was hung at kid level, usually in the hall. A quick glance told each of us what lay ahead. Every evening, just before bedtime, we would gather at the calendar. Taking turns, a big X marked off the day just closing and in unison we would count off the days remaining until Christmas. 

Nothing ever remains simple!!

As seemingly simple as this activity appears, the kids still managed to try my patience as they got older. They still insisted on cutting out representative pictures. They had to get creative. You can only imagine how many elaborate ways high school kids can find to cross through a simple square, or the speed and variety of ways they can count! They loved it (and really loved watching me try to control my exasperation)!

Traditions Happen!!!

Our Christmas calendar became a must-do tradition that carried on until the last ones left home (although some of the event representations became quite humorous and abstract).

And it carries on in their homes. . .
The Proof

Immediately after this post appeared last year (my first year of posting) the following comment appeared. It made my day.
reading this brought back so many memories , Mom! so many wonderful times!!!! (i had forgotten about how we used to check off the days with weird lines. ha!) no wonder Christmas is still my favorite holiday... Jeremy

And. . . 

actually, our calender didn't end at December 31st. We had (and still have) three very important New Year's Day traditions. But that's for next  time.