a "been-there" mom of six offers encouragement
to wives, young mothers, and those not so young,
and simple common-sense approaches to
the "ings" of life:
child-rearing (hints and helps), homemaking (all areas),
cooking (simple, cheap, and do-it-yourself)
making (toys and gifts), preparing (for the unexpected),
maintaining (sanity and peace in this increasingly crazy world) and more---
all aspects of making the most of making do on little---
and having fun in the process.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

The best help we can give our addicts/alcoholics is. . .

NO help!

Though harsh sounding, this is what we have learned over our years of seeking help for our addicted loved one.

We tried everything we knew in the attempt to fix our addict, gave too many "second chances", and much more in our quest to cure our loved one of these dreaded two diseases. 

We became addicted to our addict!

What the years of trying, like so many others have been doing to help their loved one, to change him/cure him/assist him/fill-in-what-YOU-have-done we learned that no matter what we do, we can't fix him. 

Any help WE gave basically added -- not aided. 

Years of "trying" -- in giving our all -- experience, hours of counseling and years of support groups led us to understand that addiction and alcoholism is unlike any other illness.

Six years ago Dave gave a talk which evolved into a small book.
(See previous post of April 20 "The Best Laid Plans" for more about that.) 

     We certainly don't know it all but what we have learned has seemingly helped many others. 
     What we know for certain is that our Heavenly Father gave us each the ability to make our own decisions and then reap the consequences or rewards of those decisions.  
     We do know that "unconditional love" is not taking these consequences upon ourselves in our effort to protect our loved ones from their often harsh reality. 

Unconditional love is instead, not giving up on our loved ones emotionally but letting them have the dignity to face and embrace their consequences. 

If you are among the many affected by the addictive habits of another, hopefully we can help a little by making Dave's book available.  Contact us at davengail@infowest.com. We ask $4.00 to cover the cost of printing and postage (in the United States).

Again, although life is rarely simple, I remain 
Simply, Gail

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