What they were seeing and hearing me present was the ideal----
not the real!
They didn't know that at the very moment I was taking a phone call request to teach one of those classes I was digging out a bottle of moldy beets from the back of the frig as a visual aid for Heidi's school project (and no---I had not let them mold for that purpose). I do use pint and quart bottles in my cupboards and refrigerator for storing leftovers because they are efficient---tall and slender, not taking up much room ---and clear so I can see the leftovers disintegrate and then feel it is okay to throw them away.)
They didn't see the soup and sandwich dinner my husband had to make for the family that night; they didn't see the piles of dirty laundry; and they didn't see the condition of the home I left to come to each the class.
If we are human we compare ourselves ourselves with others. A mistake! Usually our comparison takes place when we see others at their best and we are feeling at our worst.
If we must compare ourselves, we need to compare aspects of ourself with other aspects of ourself. What do we do well?
What is our most productive time?
What are our motivators?
What drags us down and slows us up?
Where do we need help?
Once we have done that we have some realistic things to begin working with. We have the whole picture, the good and the bad, and we can begin looking for ways to improve. Realistic improvement---little ways, simple goals.
Think about it, any forward movement is made one step at a time. Trying to take continuous giant steps will just wear you out and discourage you.
It is easy to slip and slide, and we all do that. When it happens just start taking forward steps once again. One of the hardest things to master is self, and self-mastery is a continuous program---a journey, not a single leap.
Perseverance is carrying out a project or chore once the enthusiasm is gone!
More than likely, if you will only admit it, your husband and your children already think you are the most wonderful wife and mother there is. You know they have good judgment that can be trusted; so don't be so hard on yourself. Proverbs 31:10-31 has always been one of my favorite Bible scriptures: ". . . for her price is far above rubies."
And did you know that rubies, according to a magazine article I read, are priced above diamonds? My goal is to be as the ruby, to strive to reach my full potential. But in the process I need to remember that, like diamonds, rubies do not happen all at once. A ruby is the product of heat, time---and pressure.
Lots of each!