Make Crunchy Healthy Chips from Root Vegetable or . . .

How to get Finicky Children (and husbands and me) to Eat their Veggies

 especially unusual ones, and even ask for more!

Have you ever eaten Terra Chips?  The colorful crispy chips made from root vegetables? They are very good - - - and they are expensive!  And, while they claim they are cooked in "good" oil they are still cooked in oil.

My challenge is, the same as always --- to make them myself. 

Yesterday I scouted out the produce section of our market, checking out the veggies that come from underneath the ground.  This was one of the very rare times I have bought anything without checking the price first. I purchased one of each. Some, I have to admit I had never tasted, while others I had never tasted raw. 

I came home with 

one large sweet potato - $1.58

one yam -  84 cents

one parsnip - 54 cents

one turnip - 87 cents

one beet -   40 cents

one yucca root - $1.00

and went to work.

I scrubbed them well, peeled the ones I felt needed peeling (yucca, yam and sweet potato), and thinly sliced all of them using my mandolin. 

I very lightly drizzled olive oil on each batch,  using my (clean) hand to stir them up so each slice would get some oil, and placed each kind on it's own dehydrating tray. 

The sweet potato and the yam slices each filled two trays. Since this venture was mainly an experiment, and I had an extra tray of each,  I lightly sprinkled one tray of sweet potatoes with cinnamon/sugar and cumin. I did one tray of yam slices without oil.  

I dehydrated them at 135 degrees for 5 to 6 hours. Times vary with different dehydrators.

Results:  Love the sweet potatoes, yams and turnips!  I wasn't very excited about the parsnip to begin with, and even less so after tasting it raw, but it was good. Dave hates beets in any form and thinks they taste like dirt. He didn't like dried ones either but I didn't mind the earthy taste. The jury is still out on the yucca.  The texture is kinda strange and the taste is pretty bland; it will probably grow on me. Or maybe, I'll pass on that one.

None of the above were on sale so the experiment cost $5.23. Still a bargain compared to the price of  a (very-few-ounces) bag of the exotic commercial chips. 

Additionally, 

homemade is healthier 

and

self-sufficiency is satisfying

I didn't think about trying carrots and the market didn't have taro plus there may be other root veggies I don't know about. I do know I will be watching for sales on root vegetable!!!

I like my regular potato chips made in the microwave.  See post below

http://thecreativecheapskate.blogspot.com/2013/01/easy-crunchy-and-fat-free-potato-chips.html

'til we eat again,

          Simply, Gail

Combating the War Against the Family . . . Part 7

Note: This post is the last one of seven on the war that is being waged  against families and family values---and what we can do to strengthen and protect ours. I teach a Sunday School class on strengthening the family and parenting skills. The lesson manual Strengthening the Family by LDS Family Services is terrific, the points "right on" and the suggestions doable. 


This is the final post in my Combating the War Against the Family series. Those who were attending my Sunday school classes filled out an anonymous evaluation form and turned it in at the last session. They all wrote they felt the materials presented were very valuable. I hope they have been helpful to you as well.

How to Disagree Without Conflict will help parents understand that while differences of opinion are inevitable, families who resolve conflicts grow closer and become stronger --- along with ways to accomplish this in your own home.

The Basic Facts: 

Some parents are overly permissive --- giving in to their children's whims until their children's behavior is out of control.

Some parents are too restrictive --- provoking their children to rebel.

Some parents overreact to their children's normal drive for independence. 

and . . .

Sad but true ---  some children will still go astray and willfully engage in behavior that violates family rules and standards, in spite of what you do but ... isn't it best to try to change your methods in hopes it will change their behavior.

Family members grow closer and become stronger when they resolve differences successfully. Left unresolved, conflicts destroy family relationships and cause sorrow among family members.


We should strive to approach our loved ones in the manner Jesus Christ taught.

"A soft answer turneth away wrath: 

but grievous words stir up anger" 

Proverbs 15:1

BEGIN BY . . .

Applying the Savior's teachings to your role as parents--both fathers and mothers.  Parents should show love and a willingness to resolve conflict by

• using good listening skills and seek to understand their upset, angry children.
• making concessions in a spirit of compromise --- while upholding values and standards
• striving to persuade their children --- while refusing to give in to manipulation
• teaching their children correct principles  --- and the rationale for family rules (rather than just saying "because I said so")
• encouraging their children to make correct choices
• persuading them when they are argumentative 
• imposing consequences when they choose to disobey
• pleading tenderly with them when they are on the verge of making serious mistakes. 

WHY? . . .

A child's angry feelings often dissipate when he or she feels understood and respected by the parent. Also, parents who listen may find that their own feelings and perspectives change.

This Next Suggestion is AMAZING in it's simplicity!

This principle for resolving conflict is so simple that it is often overlooked.  Simply. . . 

                            REFUSE TO ARGUE

Parents who refuse to argue with a contentious child soon discover that the contention is short-lived. 

Quarreling and fighting cannot occur when one person refuses to engage in it. 

Glenn Latham, author of Christlike Parenting: Taking the Pain out of Parenting, stated "In my research on the treatment of behavior problems, I have been astounded to find that if parents remain calm, empathetic and direct even in the face of outrageous reviling, 97 out of 100 times, by the third statement of parental expectations children will comply."  He further states that while some parents may think that a non-combative response gives children the upper hand, allows them to win arguments and places them in control of family matters, this is not the case.

Children are often governed to a great extent by the things that go on around them. One of the things they most want is parental attention. According to Latham "parental attention is the most powerful force or consequence in the shaping of children's behavior." When children fail to draw negative attention by being argumentative, they usually calm down and engage in more socially acceptable behavior. 

Children sometimes engage in arguments to get attention and to have the parents take their side. These arguments often place parents in a no-win position. The can never fully know how the conflict started and what has happened between the children. By taking side, they may reward an undeserving child and alienate the other child.

Parents can often help best by taking a neutral position and by giving the children the responsibility to solve the problems. In our Sunday school class, we roll-played the following to demonstrate and practice good communication skills. 

The situation:  Dad entered the room as Sid, 12, and Vance, 9, were wrestling on the floor, hitting and yelling at each other. Vance began to cry, and Sid called him a baby. Dad stepped in and separated the boys.

Dad: What’s going on between you two?

Sid:         Vance started it.

Vance:      I did not. You started it.

Dad:  So you’re both blaming each other for starting the problem. (Here he is giving them responsibility for solving the problem.) What do you think we should do to solve it?

Vance:    Tell Sid to leave me alone!

Sid:         Leave you alone? What about me? Who was it that took my cards and scattered them all over the floor? Leave my stuff alone, and we’ll get along fine.

Dad: (Remains neutral; uses reflective listening.) So Vance, you’re saying that Sid started it, and Sid, you’re saying that Vance started it by taking your cards without asking.

Vance:    Yeah, well who was it that took my CD without asking?

Dad:      Both of you are blaming each other for taking things without asking. So let me ask again, what needs to happen to solve this problem?

Sid:       Tell Vance to grow up!

Vance:  Why don’t you grow up?

Dad:     (Prepares to impose consequences.) It sounds to me like you want to keep arguing. Maybe you better go to your separate rooms until you’re ready to solve this.

Sid:      I’m ready.

Vance: So am I.

Sid: Tell Vance he needs to ask before he borrows my things.

Vance: Sid never asks me before be takes my things. He needs to ask too.

Dad:    So both of you want the other to ask before borrowing things. Is that right?

Sid:     Yes

Vance: I guess

Dad:     I like that suggestion. Is that agreeable to both of you?

Sid and Vance: (Together) Yes

This dialog may seem a little contrived but it definitely gives you the idea. And, yes, it takes a little more time and effort that just yelling and sending them to their rooms or grounding them. 

Results may not be this successful nor immediate but it is a process that, if you take the time to begin with, will more than pay for itself in the long run.

Let's dissect why this father's arbitration worked. It worked because he

...was able to listen without taking sides

...obtained the boy's cooperation in suggesting and carrying out a solution

...was able to motivate them to look for their own solution  when he proposed a consequence. Although the consequence turned out to be unnecessary, it would have been an appropriate intervention had the children wanted to continue the argument.

This is discipline/teaching as opposed to punishing.

Problem-Solving: A More Productive Approach (in only 
5 Steps!) than "counting to ten" before addressing an issue

Psychologist Susan Heitler, in working with families, found they experienced success in solving conflicts using the following method. Ms. Heitler said it was most successful when family members understand how it works and agree to use it.

Step 1: State Positions
Each person states his or her position or preference---about he or she would resolve the issue---without fear of interruption, attack, or ridicule. Sometimes a solution becomes apparent during this process, although solutions usually come in step 4.

Step 2: Explore Underlying Concerns
Family members explore their positions in greater depth, examining concerns that underlie their positions, both individually and commonly as a family.


Step 3: Brainstorm Possible Solutions
Each person suggests solutions without being attacked or ridiculed. In considering solutions, each person proposes what she or he could do to contribute to a total plan of action that would respond to everyone's concerns. Every solution, no matter how impractical, is written down. This freedom fosters creativity from which a viable solution may emerge.

Step 4: Select a Solution
After brainstorming is completed, family members evaluate each suggestion and create a plan that will be responsive to the concerns of everyone. Since the solution generally needs multiple components to address the concerns of all family members, the family should think in terms of "building a solution set rather than simply a or the solution."

Step 5: Carry Out the Solution
As family members carry out the solution, they evaluate together if modifications are needed, and make them. Occasionally they may find they need to find a different solution. If that is the case, the basic framework is already in place, ready for changes to be made.

                                             adapted from Conflict to Resolution: Skills and Strategies . . . 

A note from Gail: Rather than resorting to "counting to ten" I am trying to visualize the above as my "five finger solution"  realizing that most/much of the responsibility for bringing/keeping peace in the home is in my hand.  Additionally I try to remember that when I am pointing a finger (in any situation with any one) that my other fingers are pointing right back at me!

During Jesus Christ's mortal ministry He introduced a new and better covenant that requires all of us to abide a law higher than the law of retribution found in the Old Testament's Exodus. This new covenant found in the New Testament's book of Matthew tells us to be guided by a desire to do good, to turn the other cheek to those who smite us, love our enemies and pray for those who despitefully use and persecute us; to seek and follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit as we interact with our children, our spouses and others.

As families abide by this new covenant introduced by the Savior, resolving differences in a loving, amicable way, they will enjoy greater love, peace, and harmony in their family relationships. 

When all is said and done, we must always remember
We are their parents, not their peers
We are the adults and must behave as such --- even, or especially, if it requires changing our behavior
We have the sacred responsibility of raising our children in a responsible, productive manner even when that requires sacrifice on our part

                                         

Previous posts in this Combating the War Against the Family series are "building blocks" to improving our parenting skills and may be worth reviewing. They include how to ...

...Guard against family breakdown

...Understand child development

...Communicate with love

...Nurture our children

...Foster confidence 

...Communicate expectations

...Teach responsible behavior

...Give choices between acceptable alternatives

...Impose consequences that have been agreed upon in advance

...Overcome parental anger

Combating the War Against the Family . . . Part 6

Note: This post is part of an ongoing series on the war that is being waged  against families and family values---and what we can do to strengthen and protect ours. I teach a Sunday School class on strengthening the family and parenting skills. The lesson manual is terrific, the points "right on" and the suggestions doable. This post is a continuation of that series.

          Helping Children Develop Confidence

It is important that we 
APPROPRIATELY 
help our children develop confidence!

Confident children do better in life. They are healthier, more optimistic, more socially comfortable, and more emotionally secure than children who lack confidence. Children who lack confidence tend to be more anxious, self-conscious, socially inhibited, frustrated, fearful, and prone to failure.
                                                                                                      from the Strengthening Family Manual

Caution: Children who are overly and inappropriately "built-up" by their parents (in their attempts to assure their children have high self-esteem) are actually teaching their children to be overconfident, eliminating  the necessity of their actually needing to strive to improve or accomplish. These children often overestimate their actual abilities, become self-centered and proud, and have increased feelings of entitlement.

Finding the Balance

Things You Can Do:

• TREAT your children with love and respect.  Keep in mind the "Golden Rule" of treating others as you would have others treat you.Children should be our most prized possessions.

• CONVEYING love and respect can be shown to even a disobedient child in many ways.                                                                                                        Examples from manual: Parents can look for times when the child behaves appropriately and compliment him or her "I really appreciate it when you pitch in and help with the chores." "I'm proud of you for helping your little sister."  Parents can express affection "Son, I want you to know I love you and I'm glad you're a part of our family." Parents can give physical affection. Sometimes a touch on the shoulder or arm, accompanied by words of affection, such as "It's good to see you," can be helpful. Parents should not be offended or react negatively if the child seems irritated by this show of affection. The touch and expression many mean more to the child than he or she is willing to acknowledge. Example from Gail: Years ago I was teaching a Sunday School class of seven-year-olds. One boy, Bobby, was driving me crazy with his constant disrupting and misbehavior.  I was at a loss as to what to do. I could not think of any way to sincerely compliment him about anything. One day he wore a shirt that perfectly matched his eyes and brought out their color.  I told him he had beautiful blue eyes. Those few simple words were all it took. From that time on, he was my most best helpful student--even staying after class to clean off the little chalkboard.  I later learned he had a terrible home life. Little things do mean a lot. 

• BE an example for good --- being aware that all we do is  an example of one kind or the another. 

• HELP your children develop competence in areas that are important for their future ---It is important that they learn to work, study, achieve goals, live within rules and get along with others. The best way to teach them is by working alongside them, pleasantly and patiently, showing them the way, especially when they are young. Teach without criticizing.

• SHOW interest in your children's interests even though it is often hard to be interested in all the things (especially) little children want to talk about. Try to do this even when your child is disobedient and rejecting. It is worth the effort -- both at the time and later. From the manual: One father with limited financial resources bought tickets to ice hockey games because his son, a school dropout with a history of drug use, loved the game and would go with him. The son had recently been released from a drug treatment facility and was struggling to stay off drugs. The experience brought new life to their relationship, enabling the father and son to talk about a common interest and develop good feelings toward each other. 

• ENCOURAGE your children in activities in which they can succeed and help them develop talents and natural abilities --- One of our sons had difficulty with fine motor skills when he was very young. While working in areas to strengthen this, we also wanted to guide him to areas where he could experience success at the same time. Swimming was the answer. In his swimming lessons he was in the top of the group. The confidence gained in the pool balanced the struggles he was facing in other areas.  

• RECOGNIZE and ACKNOWLEDGE your children's accomplishments. It is important for parents to recognize the significant things their children do. 

• PRAISE them when they do something good and noteworthy - - - It is important that praise be sincere. Children will detect and reject phony compliments. 

• FOCUS on their behavior and its positive effect. For example, "I really like it when you're here with us and we can talk peacefully without contention. That means a lot to me."

• KEEP your comments brief. A few words are better than many. If you go on and on it will may embarrass the child and turn a potentially positive act into one that is negative.

• RANDOMLY offer praise --- for it to have the greatest impact, as praising the child for every act may diminish the significance of the parents' words.

• INVOLVE your children in serving others. Service projects teach unselfishness and help children to consider the welfare of others.The more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our soul. We become more significant individuals as we serve others.  Jesus promised that "by losing ourselves, we find ourselves!" We become more substantive as we serve others --- making it easier to find ourselves because --- there is more of us to find.

• TEACH your children to self-evaluate themselves when it comes to their behavior. In a calm, unaccusing, uncondemning way, ask questions such as "How do you feel about it?" "Do you approve of the way that you've handled the problem?" "You've told me what your friends think is right, but I'm interested in what you think." "What is the proper thing to do?" Helping them judge their own behavior is often effective because the judgment does not come from the parent.

Things You Should Avoid Doing:

• DO NOT MAKE your children pursue activities merely to fulfill your ambitions for your children --- especially when the activities are not essential to their child's well-being. Sometimes parents want the "ego-trip" of seeing their children succeed in areas where they weren't successful themselves or didn't have the opportunities. 

• DO NOT IGNORE areas of need, or possible, need. It is important that potential problems be addressed instead of hoping (or wishing) they will just "go away" or be outgrown, or telling yourself you are just overreacting. Better to check it out early, and get help if needed.  

• DO NOT CRITICIZE or BELITTLE your children or their efforts. Positive encouragement teaches; negativity discourages. Parents sometimes underestimate the impact of their actions upon their children. Some otherwise loving parents make thoughtless remarks that deeply undermine their children's feeling of confidence and sense of self-worth.

One of Gail's personal regrets: Our young daughter sang loud and off-tune. One Sunday in Church I  leaned over and asked her to sing quieter. I thought I was subtle as I said nothing about being off-tune. The results: even today, as a grown woman she only mouths the words as she sings and this in spite of the fact that she can carry a tune. I feel terrible.

Personal Experience of a Friend: He is small in stature with average looks. He is a wonderful, kind and intelligent Christian man, husband and father. In spite of these great characteristics he is very insecure and self-conscious. Could his lack of confidence (or at least a big part of it) have stemmed from having heard  his father say "He's not much, but he's all I've got"? How sad is that. 

Another story from the lesson manual: One mother who was prone to criticize said to her preschool-age son , "You sure have a  funny-looking nose." Nearly 50 years later, at a family gathering, this boy disclosed  to his siblings that he had felt self-conscious about his nose all his life because of that remark. His siblings were surprised, seeing nothing that was funny or even unusual about his facial appearance.

• DO NOT BE HARSH, JUDGMENTAL or CONDEMNING when teaching a child to self-evaluate because the child may lose sight of personal wrongdoing and focus instead on the excessive inappropriate behavior of the parents. Or, the child may respond with unnecessarily severe feelings of guilt and self-condemnation.

The Bottom Line

When parents have high but realistic expectations, their children tend to develop confidence that they can do things successfully. This confidence especially comes when parents provide a loving, supportive environment in which children can learn through trial and effort without being demeaned or condemned for failure. 

Children readily learn from setbacks when they feel love, support, and encouragement to try again. Children need to know that you love them, and their Father in Heaven loves them even when they make mistakes.

Simply give your very best to those who call you Mom and Dad. 

Combating the War Against the Family. . . Part 5

Note: This post is part of an ongoing series on the war that is being waged  against families and family values---and what we can do to strengthen and protect ours. I teach a Sunday School class on strengthening the family and parenting skills. The lesson manual is terrific, the points "right on" and the suggestions doable. This post is a continuation of that series.

Among all the assets we possess . . . 

nothing is more precious than our children  

Nurturing is a fancy word for simply doing the things we automatically do (or should do) every day day for our family --- nourish (physically, emotionally, and spiritually), love, teach, protect, help, support, and encourage. Parents play a crucial role in preparing their children to handle life’s many challenges.Proper nurturing better equips children to withstand troubling times.

However, sometimes we get so involved in the many things of life that we do this nurturing on auto-pilot. This post, from the Strengthening the Family manual,  addresses the need to, and the way to, put more into “one of the most important things parents can do for their children.”



Psychologist John Gottman of the University of Washington studied 119 families and found that couples who had the greatest parenting success were able to help their children when their children needed help the most—when they were distressed and upset. 


Dr. Gottman discovered successful parents did five things — all nurturing tasks—that gave their children a much better foundation for life. They are listed here as steps the surveyed parents took and you can take. 

As you consider the following please also consider the age-appropriateness of each step, tailoring each to the ages of your children.

Step 1. Be Aware of the Child’s Emotions
They were able to recognize and appropriately respond to the feelings of their children. Parents who recognize and accept their own feelings find it easier to recognize and accept their children’s feelings. Children who see their parents handle difficult feelings often learn to manage their own emotions. 

Step 2. Recognize Emotion as an Opportunity for Closeness and Teaching
Sometimes parents avoid talking with a child when he or she is upset, perhaps fearing rejection or fearing they have somehow failed the child. Many parents hope their children’s troubling emotions will go away. Often, these emotions do not go away without some kind of help. Parents should look at their children’s troubling emotions as opportunities for bonding and growth. Helping soothe a child’s trouble feelings is one of the most satisfying things parents can do. Children feel understood and comforted when kind and loving parents acknowledge and understand their feelings.

Step 3. Listen Empathetically and Validate the Child’s Feelings
When parents have questions about what their child says or feels, they can ask for clarification, keeping in mind probing questions may cause the child to become defensive and to stop talking. Simple observations often work better. For example, the parent might say, “I noticed that when you started talking about grades, you seemed to become tense.” The parent should then wait and allow the child to continue. Children are more likely to keep talking when they feel a sense of control over the conversation and have an uncritical, empathetic listener.


Step 4. Help the Child Identify and Name Emotions
Sometimes parents mistakenly assume their children have words to describe what they feel inside when in reality they do not always have a vocabulary for their emotions. Parents can provide words for their children to help them transform vague, undefined, uncomfortable feelings into descriptive words such as sad, angry, frustrated, afraid, worried, tense and so on. Children begin to feel a sense of control over their emotions as they learn words to describe them. The best time to teach feeling words is when children experience emotion. The mother who sees her daughter crying because her friend is moving away can say, “You must feel really sad. You have been such close friends.” Hearing this said, the girl not only feels understood but now has a word that describes her experience.

Step 5. Set Limits while Helping the Child Learn to Solve Problems
A child’s sense of control increases as parents help the child learn to deal with unpleasant feelings. Children must learn to deal with troubling thoughts and feelings in ways that are socially acceptable and emotionally healthy. Parents may need to set limits on inappropriate behavior while helping children work out problems. 

Example:
Reuben, age 12 dropped a fly ball, which cost his team a win and entry in the championship playoffs. While he was walking of the field, one of his teammates shouted, "Why to go, klutz!." Already feeling horrible, Reuben ran to the youth, grabbed him around the neck and shoulders, and tried to throw him to the ground. Reuben's father immediately bolted from the stands, pulled his son away, held him firmly, and said, "I know you're angry and hurt, but we never hurt others. Let's go home and talk about a better way to handle this."

Rather than scold or preach, the father in this example used the occasion to draw close to his son by listening empathetically , validating Reuben's feelings, and helping him explore other ways to handle difficult situations. The way his father handled the situation helped Reuben feel understood, valued, and better able to manage his feelings.

If parents do not know the cause of a child's problem, they should first ask questions to identify the cause so a solution can be found. Parents should ask questions such as "What is causing you to feel this way?" They should not allow the child to blame others when others are not to blame.

Once the cause has been identified, parents can ask, "What do you think will solve the problem?" They should listen carefully to the child's answers. They can offer some tentative solutions to help the child consider others possibilities. They may find it helpful to brainstorm solutions with older children. When parents and children brainstorm, they should not consider any solution too silly or inappropriate; criticism impedes the creative process, and parents and children can select appropriate solutions later. Parents should allow the child to take as much responsibility as possible, helping the child grow from dependence to self-reliance.

Sometimes it is helpful to have a child  recall other times in life when he or she handled problems successfully. What did the child do at that time to cope? Can the same approach be taken with the current problem?

While the following is important,  it is very important that the parents do not slip into the decision-making role, as often happens.

• Once the child and parents have explored the implications for each solution, the parents should help their child decide which solution is best. 

• Since parents have the advantage of experience and wisdom  they should offer their opinions and guidance, and can share their experiences in resolving similar problems --- sharing the choices they made and what they learned from them. 

This help can be invaluable WHEN the underlined words are followed.

If a child seems determined to try a solution that parents believe will fail, they may want to allow that to happen if the outcome will not be harmful and will not burden the child with major problem. Some of the greatest lessons in life are learned through failure. Afterward, without saying, "I told you so," parents should help the child work out another solution.

An important part of parenting is to help children grow from dependency to self-reliance. Parents can help their children develop self-reliance by teaching them correct principles so their children can learn to govern themselves righteously and responsibly. If parents take over their children's problems, they unnecessarily burden themselves while depriving their sons and daughters of the opportunity to learn responsibility and self-reliance. As a general rule, children should solve their own problems, frustrations, boredom, and failures, with parents assisting as teachers and leaders as needed.

Until we "meet" again remember among all the assets we possess . . . 
nothing is more precious than our children 

My next post will address Fostering Confidence in children. "Confident children do better in life. They are healthier, more optimistic, more socially comfortable, and more emotionally secure than children who lack confidence..."

Why Buy Tartar Sauce & Cole Slaw Dressing When. . .

you can make it yourself --- quickly, simply, cheaply 

and much better!

Actually our chips were homemade chips not fries---
and, our coleslaw looked much better.

We had yummy fish, chips and coleslaw earlier this week.  I'll even admit to buying  the ready-to-bake Van de Kamp-brand battered fish fillets. 

But....

I made the "go-withs!"

The following, like most home-made products, can't be beat for

• tasting much better!
• costing a lot less!
• having no unwanted preservatives or other unnecessary ingredients!
• being adjustable to your preferences!

AND

• they are almost as quick to make as opening the jar of the commercial varieties!
• 
  

My Mom's Coleslaw Dressing

(Dave's favorite --- even over his own mother's which he loved)

Start with combining the following 

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1 teaspoon mustard

1/4 cup vinegar

Then stir in enough mayonnaise (probably about one cup) to obtain the consistency you want.

You can adjust measurements to your taste.  Use immediately and/or store in refrigerator.  You can combine the dressing and cabbage ahead of time so it can absorb the dressing flavors. I usually use some of the dressing immediately and, for the next meal,  add more dressing and additional shredded cabbage to the leftover slaw. 

I find most store-bought coleslaw and the bagged pre-shredded cabbage to be fairly tasteless. Buying a small head of cabbage (it shreds into much, much more) will give you much greater flavor for less money with very little extra work.  We shred, chop, grate or slice---you choice--- it somewhat thicker than the packaged. 

Gail's Tartar Sauce  

This is one of those recipes without specific measurements. Please don't let that keep you from trying it; it is only scary the first time!  Just start with lesser amounts and adjust to your taste.   It is basically foolproof.  Occasionally if I have added too much of something I just increase the mayo.

In a small bowl combine of the following. Refrigerate until ready to use and refrigerate leftovers. 

Mayonnaise and/or Miracle Whip-type salad dressing (Dave prefers MW and I like Mayo so I often use some of each)

Sweet pickle relish

Finely diced fresh onions (I often use dried onion)

Small amount of sugar

Small amount of vinegar

Salt and pepper to taste

We made the potato chips in the microwave! See my post for those. http://thecreativecheapskate.blogspot.com/search?q=potato+chips 

'till we eat again,

         Simply, Gail

In Troubling and Struggling Times. . . 3 Simple Questions To Help Us Put Our Lives into Proper Perspective

1. Did you have a choice of what to wear this morning?
2. Did you have more than one food item for dinner last night?
3. Do you have transportation other than walking?

If you answered "yes" to just ONE of these questions, you are among 10 percent of the richest people who have ever lived.

Think of that. No matter your individual financial means or struggles, your material wealth is beyond the wildest imagination of 90 percent of the people who have ever lived.

We may be struggling with the pains of shrunken incomes but no one that is reading this, on whatever electronic gadget,  is struggling with the severe stomach pains that result from not having enough to eat.

More and more of us are   having trouble making ends meet but most of us, regardless of our income, actually have much more than we need. Much, if not most, of our struggles are the result of having horribly confused our wants with our needs.

As part of that, let me ask three additional questions.

1. Do you need as many clothing choices as you have?
2. Do you need to eat out as often or spend as much money on food as you do?
3. Do you have more modes of transportation, including recreational, than you need or can readily afford? 

If you are a regular reader you know my blog is "muchly" devoted to teaching how to make do well with less --- and discovering great satisfaction and happiness in the process. And it is a process. 

I don't think I am pessimistic but I know I am realistic and I'd like you to humor me in the following exercise.

Let's do some assuming . . .

. . . that things are not going to get better soon. 
. . . that our government is going to shortly run out of its ability to continue bailouts or handouts. 
. . . that FEMA (our federal emergency management agency) will run out of means and manpower to assist  with the ravages caused by natural disasters or other emergencies.
. . . that we will need to depend upon ourselves to help ourselves in any given circumstance.

Doesn't elastic, no matter how strong, how well constructed or how well intentioned its guarantees, have the ability to stretch only so far or in so many directions before it loses its stretch? 

Is our ever-expanding, ever-assuring, ever-promising government any different?

Just in case ---- is it worth your time to spend some time determining between your wants and your actual needs?

AND/OR is it worth the pressure of being constantly in debt because you are too busy and too burdened trying to pay off or keep up with the stuff you thought would bring you happiness?

And then, just in case ---- to begin to make the necessary changes and/or preparations to enable your family to do and make do so that when the need arises you have what you need on hand to make your situation as comfortable as possible?

AND/OR would you welcome the peace and freedom you'd have (mentally and physically) if you took steps to eliminate the time and expenses involved in extraneous stuff.

It is a process --- mentally and physically. I'd like to ask encourage you to begin that process.

Note: After 16 months of writing thecreativecheapskate I have just learned that in the upper left hand corner of my blog there is a small rectangular area. If you float the cursor over it, the word "search" appears. And, also new to me, if you type a word (any word you want!) in that area it will bring up all of my posts having to do with that word.  (If you are saying Duh! you are just seeing another example of simple Gail rather than simply Gail!)

So, to get you started ----

Type Preparedness in that area and it will bring up all the posts I have written on this essential subject --- water, sanitation, light, grab 'n go bag and more.

What are a few to the positives being preparing provides?

. . . Increased self-sufficiency
. . . Personal satisfaction
. . . More control of resources
. . . Peace of mind
. . . A great load will be lifted when you free yourself from debt and from "stuff"

Are there negatives?

When the hour of need has arrives, hasn't the time of preparation passed?

Learning to Forgive

Forgiving is not forgetting the act, for that is usually impossible; nor is it pardoning or condoning or justifying. It is forgiving. Nothing more, nothing less.

            Today my post is an article written by my husband Dave and published in Desert Saints, a Las Vegas magazine, 12 years ago. I know it is long but I believe it contains insight and help that cannot be measured in time. I ask you to trust me on this.

The Old Testament refers to forgiveness numerous times, showing the Lord forgiving His children. During that time period, man's relationship to man was one of retribution and vindication.

With the advent of the Savior on earth, one of those relationships changed. No longer are we justified in striking back at those who have offended or harmed us. The imperative from the Lord is to love one another. And our obligation is to forgive one another.

We are told we are to seek forgiveness for our "debts, as we forgive our debtors" (Matt. 6:12). It is interesting to note that the only subject in the Lord's Prayer which Christ chose to elaborate on was that of forgiveness. "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matt. 6:14-15).

We might be offended or injured in a myriad of ways, physically, emotionally or spiritually. But our duty is always the same, to forgive.

The question is --- How?

The answer starts to form as we examine our frame of mind.

Are we holding a grudge, grievance, or resentment?
Is the offense real or imagined?
Was it personal or general?
Was it purposeful or unintentional? (In many cases the offending party is unaware they have given offense.)

Could it be possible we have done something deserving of criticism? Or perhaps, we have misconstrued or misunderstood someone's words or actions?

Whatever the case, no matter whose fault, the Lord tells us we must not hold onto these feelings. Hanging on causes us to blame others for the way we feel and begins to drag us down and embitter us.

We must "get over it."

While it is usually appropriate to tell our version of the story to a select few, when we repeat it endlessly, we paint ourselves as the victim and begin to justify our feelings. It becomes a search for sympathy, whether consciously or unconsciously.

Forgiving is not forgetting the act, for that is usually impossible; nor is it pardoning or condoning or justifying. It is forgiving. Nothing more, nothing less. Forgiving may not always bring closure but we still need to get over it and move on with life.

Again the question --- How do we do that?

We cannot take personally the act or word that has offended us. There is a difference between having something "done to you," which we take as a personal affront, and done "about you," which is an act performed or words spoken because of something we may have said or done. An example might be what we do when our children misbehave. We may tell our children we do not like what they have done; we must never tell them we don't like them. This is the mind set we need to have to forgive someone.

We must hold ourselves responsible for how we feel today, living in the here and now.

We must get rid of "old news." No one wants to hear it. We can do that by thinking of the many good things in our lives. As the old song says, we can "accentuate the positive."

We must realize that no one makes us feel a certain way. 

We are the only ones who control the way we feel, so we can only blame ourselves for negative feelings.

We must create a positive "rewrite:" how we can overcome the harm that was done to us. Many of us can tell of situations where we harbored resentment that festered in us like an infection.  We must tell "the rest of the story" --- the forgiving part that allows us to move on without the heavy burden of bitterness. Thus we make "building blocks" from the situation.

Forgiveness has nothing to do with who is right or who is wrong. I has everything to do with releasing ill feelings. 
It has to do with saying, "I am sorry for my anger. Forgive me." We are commanded to forgive, whether or not we have been asked for forgiveness by the offender. Also, we are commanded to seek forgiveness for offenses we have committed, and the bad feelings we have harbored.

So many of us cling to an offense as if it were a valued friend. We must realize that in fact, it is a subtle enemy that can destroy us spiritually. Like an addiction, we must ultimately determine that this cancer be removed. Then we must turn to the ultimate physician for our cure.

Not surprisingly then, the formula is a familiar one.

By turning to the Lord in prayer, we are calling on the power that can remove all ills. If we remember that our Savior has experienced every pain and hurt and anxiety, as well as the sins of all mankind, we know He will help us when we ask for His help.

We must pray for the strength to forgive, even though it is difficult. 

Even as He was being crucified, Christ asked his Father for forgiveness for His tormentors. By comparison, what a little thing we care called on to do when we are commanded to forgive.

The Lord's instruction to us is clear. "I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (Doctrine and Covenants 64:10).

Let's not try to fix the blame, let's fix the relationship.


(Dave took some of the material for this article from the book Forgive for Good, by Fredric Luskin)