a "been-there" mom of six offers encouragement
to wives, young mothers, and those not so young,
and simple common-sense approaches to
the "ings" of life:
child-rearing (hints and helps), homemaking (all areas),
cooking (simple, cheap, and do-it-yourself)
making (toys and gifts), preparing (for the unexpected),
maintaining (sanity and peace in this increasingly crazy world) and more---
all aspects of making the most of making do on little---
and having fun in the process.

Friday, September 7, 2012

What If. . . We are Dying to Smell Good?

Clipart Illustration Of A White Man Wrapped In A Towel Sniffing His Armpit Before Spraying Deodorant On His Underarms After Getting Out Of The Shower by Dennis CoxClipart Illustration Of A Black Lady In Her Undergarments Spraying Deodorant On Her Armpits After Getting Out Of The Shower by Dennis Cox

I have been having trouble with frequent, and sometimes intense, itching in my armpits. Occasionally, accompanied with a rash.






Figuring the culprit was my underarm protection I started trying different brands --- a frustrating and expensive venture, made even more so if you get into the "natural" brands.

A few weeks ago I ran across a website proclaiming the effectiveness of  the simple combination of cornstarch and baking soda. 

How much more natural can you get?
How much cheaper can you get?

The article suggested starting with a 50-50 mix and go from there. 
It was a little too harsh for me, but 2/3rd cornstarch combined with 1/3rd baking soda does the job!

Simply combine the two in a shallow covered container and use a small powder puff or cotton ball to apply.

Last week we took a trip and I was hesitant to take it along, somehow afraid it wouldn't do the job. How dumb! I came home with an itchy rash! 

Before posting this discovery I decided to check out the ingredients in commercial deodorant and/or anti-perspiration products.

In the process I added a new word to my vocabulary!


Obfuscate 

— to deliberately make something unclear or 
difficult to understand, by making use of unfamiliar terminology.


No wonder you're confused by the information on product labels! The facts are obfuscated by industry regulations requiring the ingredients to be listed in terms that only a chemist can understand.

Then to confuse you even further, companies intentionally put beautiful labels on their products with words like "natural," and "healthy" when their ingredients are anything but.

They may have a few token herbal or natural ingredients upon which they base their claim. But these ingredients, in many cases, only make up a very small percentage of the total ingredients.


Did you know that . . .


...there are no industry standards for what natural means. 




Did you know that . . .

... many of the ingredients added to cosmetics and personal care products are harmful. In fact, cosmetics and toiletries are the least regulated products on the market. As long as the manufacturers of these products don't use toxic substances that have been banned, they are free to use whatever ingredients they want and market their products without testing them and without approval from the FDA.

And, did you know that  . . .

The FDA does not ensure the safety of personal care products. 
The FDA has not defined what safe means. 
The FDA cannot require pre-market safety testing of personal care product ingredients.
The FDA cannot prevent the introduction of dangerous products onto the market.
The FDA cannot even require a recall of harmful products.
The FDA refuses to establish guidance for safety. 
What else is being hidden from you right now?

 "The FDA can make suggestions or recommendations to manufacturers about cosmetic products or their ingredients, but the manufacturers do not have to comply. The FDA must first prove in a court of law that a product is harmful, improperly labeled, or violates the law if it wants to remove a cosmetic product from the market." 

Information from "Dying to Look Good" by Christine H. Farlow, D.C.

And this is only about underarm deodorant. Think of the many other items we use to make ourselves socially and personally "acceptable" and attractive.


You know what really STINKS?

The GREED of manufacturers and the INEPTNESS of the FDA



Tuesday, September 4, 2012

More on Keeping Marriage Bubbling on the Front Burner


This post is a continuation of my last post on keeping the spark in marriage --- with help from authors Richard and Linda Eyre.


In their recent newspaper column the Eyres, stated that a friend observed that many couples work harder at being good parents than at being good husbands or wives. The Eyres  stated:
We need to prioritize our marriage
before we can prioritize our parenting
“It is analogous to the announcements the flight attendants make every time we get on an airplane: “In the event of an emergency, give yourself oxygen first before you give it to your child.” 
We need to prioritize our marriage before 
we can prioritize our parenting.”

No matter how wonderful and important children are, 
the husband and wife were on the scene first and will continue 
to be together when their children leave the nest for their own homes.

Twenty  years ago I worked with a man who was very proud of the fact that he and his wife were so devoted to their children and to parenting that they did not/would not go anywhere without their children. At that time they had several children and some of them were old enough to care for their siblings for a few hours.  He wouldn’t even consider the idea that he and his wife were entitled to and needed time for themselves as husband and wife..He insisted his wife shared his feelings.  

I occasionally wonder how that has worked out for them. Were they able to let their children leave the nest and cleave unto their spouses? Did he and the misses have anything, besides the children, in common once they were a couple again?  Did they have husband/wife identities or even their own identities? 

Dave and I were the exact opposite.  I don’t think our kids suffered for it but if they did I am sure they will quickly write in and let me (and all of you) know.  

We brought my love of art and Dave’s love of softball to our marriage. Since we cared for one another, I happily watched him play ball three evenings a week and he willingly accompanied me to art exhibits. Over time, his interest in art surpassed mine! And as time went on, we discovered  new activities to enjoy and/or support one another in (yes, I remember, you should not end sentences with  prepositions).

“We’d love to but we can’t afford to.”  

For many, if not most, married couples the biggest obstacle to dating is finances. I have often heard “We’d love to but we can’t afford to.”  You can't afford not to! Can’t is more often than not an excuse that is easier than some creativity. Keeping the spark, and keeping in touch with one another in couple-hood is worth whatever effort it takes.

• if you really can’t come up with the money for a sitter, arrange a trade with another young couple, so each of you get a date night or
• feed the kids a simple meal and put them to bed early and enjoy a special dinner for two after they are asleep or
• after their early bed time, play a game, work on a hobby you both enjoy, or just sit and cuddle and remember your dating and early marriage days.

If you can come up with a little money for a sitter, even if it is just for an hour or so, go for a ride or walk, visit the library, find a free local concert or activity or go for an ice cream cone.  (As a continuation of the evening we always made it a point to return home after the sitter had the kids settled in bed—even if we had to drive around the block for a few minutes!) 

When our older child was able to “tend” the younger, their payment was not money --- we brought home a malt or other treat of their choice. 

Little things mean a lot!!  

Even more so, when they require creativity rather than money. 

• Put little notes in his lunches or in his shoes, or write a short message on a mirror

• Make one of his special treats for a non-occasion

• Take a minute to put on a little make-up and fragrance just before he comes home from work (Kids notice that you make the effort to do this for your spouse.  One day our then youngest asked if I was going somewhere when he saw me doing this and his next older brother said, “No, it is time for daddy to come home.”)

• When he comes home, greet him at the door if possible, but don’t immediately begin telling him what a horrible day you had or how ornery the kids were. Chances are his wasn’t so great either.

There is no doubt kids need lots of our time. They need our love. They need our support. They need our encouragement. They need our acceptance. They need our respect. And they need to know of the love we have for one another. Their needs add up to what sometimes seems like overwhelming amounts of our time. 

But, they don’t need our absolute and undivided attention!

Our spouses need our love, our time, our support, our encouragement, our acceptance and our respect. . .

but, do we sometimes forget about that in all the hustle and bustle?

This is what we did . . .

We jokingly referred to our children as “second-rate citizens.” What we really meant was second “rank.” Children are smart and me-centered, and they naturally use these attributes to their advantage. They can quickly see if they have us wrapped around their little finger — immediately available to their every want or need.  Or, they can learn that they are not the only important person in the family and that they will not always be catered to.

New babies almost always need immediate attention; yet even they can learn a small amount of patience. When our babies started crying from hunger I would first go to them and talk to them and turn them over or some such thing and then leave for a couple of minutes to prepare their bottle. In that way, they soon discovered that I was not ignoring them, and they learned that I would quickly be back to care for them.

In our family, when a child’s wants didn’t require immediate attention (and most wants don’t), their dad usually came first with me—and still does. He even got the extra helping of dessert!

 And why we did it

Again, we were a couple first, we are a couple again now that the children are grown, and it was important to maintain our couple-ness while raising a family. We have seen too many couples lose that identity when their children started arriving. An unidentified but very wise person said “The greatest gift a man can give his children is to love their mother.” It works in reverse, too. For the mom to love the dad.

We all know that example is the greatest teacher. Our kids were known to tell their dad that I had had a rough day and that he should take me out. If the full truth were known it probably would have been that I was taking my rough day out on them and they would like me out of the house for a while, but still they were learning about others and other’s needs.


There is no need for arguments in any marriage.  The bottom line of most arguments is selfishness or pride. And what is in the center of pride? Spell it out: pride. 

We have never felt that a marriage was meant to be 50-50.  Instead, we feel it is best when it is an equation similar to 90-10, with each spouse striving to give the 90!

The only acceptable fight in any marriage is a line from a song of long, long ago, "we often fight the live long night 'bout who loves who the most."

We are simply and happily, Dave and Gail 

Note: The Eyres are special people with a special mission.  Their vision is to "fortify families by celebrating commitment, popularizing parenting, validating values, and bolstering balance." To this end they are offering their books on line at no charge.  Please check them out at http://www.eyresfreebooks.com./



Friday, August 31, 2012

Keeping your Marriage on the Front Burner


Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 
                                                                                Genesis 2:24

That directive, given by God to Adam and Eve remains of great importance---probably more so than when it was given in the garden of Eden. 

Often, the event of marriage, with all its planning, pomp and ceremony,  is viewed as the climax rather than a new beginning of unending potential and joy. The "I do" quickly followed, after the honeymoon, by "Now What?"

It was interesting to discover that in our dictionary 
the verb "cleave" has two totally opposite definitions:   
1) to be faithful and adhere 
2) to divide or split

Without conscious effort and care, we can slowly become divided as we get caught up in the daily grind of, well  ----- 
our daily grind. 

It won't happen all at once and it won't happen at 
all IF -----
we remain attentive to one another and one another's needs.  

IF we care about our spouse more than we care about ourselves. 

Decades ago, Richard and Linda Eyre*         
sat in a meeting where all married couples 
were urged to continue their courtship, 
including going out on a date once each 
week, along with the promise that if they 
would do that one simple thing their love 
and commitment to each other would 
continue to grow. 

Quite a challenge, quite a commitment, quite a promise!

The Eyres took that advice to heart. They had weekly dates and they are still in love ---- more than ever.

*The Eyres are New York Times No. 1 best-selling authors who lecture throughout the world on family-related topics. 

The following are excerpts from one of their recent newspaper columns on marriage relationships. 


"When you courted your spouse, you thought about it, you planned it — you strategized how to win her (or him). There was nothing you wouldn’t do, no small touch you wouldn’t add and no effort you wouldn’t make.

"And you sought to create romance! Is it any less important now?

"In your courtship, you worked hard and thought hard to find out what he or she liked most and what made the other happy. Is it any less important to know those things now — and to practice and implement them?

"We all need to remember that our spouses are not only our partners, but also the other part of a “oneness” that is a perfectible entity. In that context, nothing is more important than the ongoing progress and strengthening of our marital relationships.


"Speaking for ourselves, we may not have grown more alike during our first 40 years together (though we clearly have in some areas), but we have continually come to appreciate each other more, including learning to appreciate and even celebrate our differences. 

"We have fallen more in love because we are continually learning new things about the other to fall in love with.

"We have decided that we each actually have more influence over the happiness of the other person than over our own. We have decided that we like interdependence much more than independence, and we have adopted the mantra that “if it’s important to you, it’s important to me.”"

Dave and I have followed this same advice for our nearly 50 years of marriage.  We agree with this profound but simple advice that works!  

In my next post I will share some of the things that have worked for us and a little more from the Eyres.



















Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Separated After Birth --- the Breaking News from the Hen House



Although this first video is in Chinese, you do not need to understand the language. The pictures tell it all



This second video is taking the original video five steps further!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AirVOuTN_M&safety_mode=true&persist_safety_mode=1

Friday, August 24, 2012

Aprons are Currently Trendy Copy Cats of Those from Days Long Gone




Some of you may remember Home Ec.  Some of you may remember making an apron in Home Ec. The rest may say "What the heck is Home Ec?"

My grandmother was never without one. She made hers from patterned fabric flour sacks using a pattern she created, cut from newspaper. In my day the pattern cost 25 cents and fabric flour sacks were a thing of the past. The good fabric started at 49  cents a yard. 



Important  Note: ((at least to me) 
Over the years as my awareness has increased along with my size I have swore sizing, both in patterns and purchased clothing had changed . . . in the opposite direction.  The size listed on the pattern on the left validates it! 

Home Economics was a required class for all girls beginning in the 8th grade. In my school Home Ec was actually two full year classes. In 7th grade we took cooking. Confession: Even though I still remember how to make eggs ala goldenrod I won't and this class is where I had my first, and only, bite of liver.  Aside from those two things it was a very helpful class---and provided  the basics of how to cook.  In the 8th grade we took sewing.  The boys were taking wood shop and electric shop those years.

 These classes are not only  no longer requirements, I understand they are not even electives in some schools.  How sad.

I realize times are really different from 58 years ago and that now everything can be had instantly but I am not convinced all this "progress" is good. I am not knocking convenience, I think it is great, but I am not sure that what we have available now will be always available and I worry about those who are not prepared for such a time. 

Today vintage is trendy --- back in style.  Today, while  there are many  patterns available to recreate the aprons of yesteryear,  I am not sure the young people of today grasp it's original functionality.  

While I was looking for a picture of a woman using her apron  I came across these suggestions for using vintage aprons.


Vintage aprons hold a special place in people's hearts. They are often beautiful whether they are the everyday variety or made for a hostessing occasion.
Not surprisingly, many people are collecting these vintage aprons. They are often inexpensive, and can be displayed in a number of creative ways:
  • Hanging on hooks or pegs
  • Used as valences in the kitchen
  • Make an indoor clothesline against a wall
  • Hang on a door knob
  • Sew into a plastic bag holder
  • Use your imagination!


The main use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress she was wearing because she  didn't have many. Aprons were easier to wash than dresses and they took less material and less time to make. 

Additionally an apron . . .
  • served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven
  • was wonderful for drying children's tears, and wiping the resultant runny noses
  • was a super quick and efficient dust cloth when unexpected company drove in the driveway
  • became the ideal hiding places for shy kids when somebody dropped in to visit
  • was used for carrying in the collected eggs (and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven).

Those big old aprons . . .

  • carried wood chips and kindling into the kitchen
  • wiped many a perspiring brow, as she bent over the hot wood stove
  • carried in all sorts of vegetables in from the garden
  • became the basket for gathering the fruit that had fallen from the trees in the orchard
  • was the receptacle for returning all the fruit and vegetables remains - shells, husks, peelings, cores, pits - back outside to the compost pile.
When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men folk knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.


When the weather was hot she could use the apron to fan herself and when the weather was cold, she could wrap that big apron around her arms to warm them. 

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.

Back, then Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Now, her posterity probably sets theirs on the counter to thaw! 

Today, the crazy government would probably appoint a committee that would go crazy trying to figure out how many germs accumulated on that apron and it's effect on the wearer and those she came in contact with. 

I don't think I ever caught anything from an apron but 
comfort and love. 



















Tuesday, August 21, 2012

When life hands you a less-than-perfect watermelon. . .

Be creative! It's surprisingly simple to blend a variety
of fruits to come up with a refreshing and
delicious icy-cold drink
mix it up with other  fruits and make a
perfect cooler!

Last week we picked up a perfect-appearing baby
watermelon. Cut open, the inside was a bright luscious red and we thought we had hit the melon jackpot.

Nope!  It was all looks and very little taste ---- what'a waste.

But not so.  I diced up the
melon, divided it among small zip lock bags and banished it to the freezer, right next to some previously frozen strawberries.

I like to come up with juicy-fruity chilly concoctions using what I have on hand.  I raided the refrigerator and came up with the following.  It was delicious!

Berry Melon Cooler
1 to 2 cups frozen watermelon chunks
3/4 to 1 cup frozen strawberries
juice of one or two oranges
1 carton vanilla yogurt
1/2 cup cream
1 T. white sugar (or to taste)
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Combine in a blender until smooth.  (Add a little water if it is too thick.)

Serve immediately.

I would have expected the other flavors to overwhelm even a tasty   melon but somehow they didn't.  The watermelon flavor was right there with the others. 

The amounts and variety I used are just to give you an idea. I doubt you can miss with any combination. 

'til we eat again,
          Simply, Gail








Saturday, August 18, 2012

The USA (and it's Healthcare) is in . . . Critical Condition

Continued from yesterday

In spite of what most television channels and newspapers would have us believe . . . 






Shouldn't we wonder why the government is trying desperately to foist a health care  plan on all the rest of us at the very same time they are exempting themselves and their families? 



          Here is the complete Wall Street Journal article I posted portions of yesterday. Even though it is quite long I think you will find it worth your time ---- no matter who you are, where you are in life, or your age.
          Realistically, no matter how important something is, lengthy is not a popular word in today's culture. Everyone has become accustomed to and receptive of "sound bites" and bullet points even when the magnitude of a problem/situation demands more. 

I am going to start off by asking a question and giving the answer just in case you fall into this "cliff notes" generation. 

What is the cure?


                           WE the People 




Why the Doctor Can't See You

"The demand for health care under ObamaCare will increase dramatically. The supply of physicians won't. Get ready for a two-tier system of medical care.

"Are you having trouble finding a doctor who will see you? If not, give it another year and a half. A doctor shortage is on its way.

"Most provisions of the Obama health law kick in on Jan. 1, 2014. Within the decade after that, an additional 30 million people are expected to acquire health plans—and if the economic studies are correct, they will try to double their use of the health-care system.

"Meanwhile, the administration never seems to tire of reminding seniors that they are entitled to a free annual checkup. Its new campaign is focused on women. Thanks to health reform, they are being told, they will have access to free breast and pelvic exams and even free contraceptives. Once ObamaCare fully takes effect, all of us will be entitled to a long list of preventive services—with no deductible or copayment.

"Here is the problem: The health-care system can't possibly deliver on the huge increase in demand for primary-care services. The original ObamaCare bill actually had a line item for increased doctor training. But this provision was zeroed out before passage, probably to keep down the cost of health reform. The result will be gridlock.

"Take preventive care. ObamaCare says that health insurance must cover the tests and procedures recommended by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force. What would that involve? In the American Journal of Public Health (2003), scholars at Duke University calculated that arranging for and counseling patients about all those screenings would require 1,773 hours of the average primary-care physician's time each year, or 7.4 hours per working day.

"And all of this time is time spent searching for problems and talking about the search. If the screenings turn up a real problem, there will have to be more testing and more counseling. Bottom line: To meet the promise of free preventive care nationwide, every family doctor in America would have to work full-time delivering it, leaving no time for all the other things they need to do.

"When demand exceeds supply in a normal market, the price rises until it reaches a market-clearing level. But in this country, as in other developed nations, Americans do not primarily pay for care with their own money. They pay with time.

"How long does it take you on the phone to make an appointment to see a doctor? How many days do you have to wait before she can see you? How long does it take to get to the doctor's office? Once there, how long do you have to wait before being seen? These are all non-price barriers to care, and there is substantial evidence that they are more important in deterring care than the fee the doctor charges, even for low-income patients.

"For example, the average wait to see a new family doctor in this country is just under three weeks, according to a 2009 survey by medical consultancy Merritt Hawkins. But in Boston, Mass.—which enacted a law under Gov. Mitt Romney that established near-universal coverage—the wait is about two months.

"When people cannot find a primary-care physician who will see them in a reasonable length of time, all too often they go to hospital emergency rooms. Yet a 2007 study of California in the Annals of Emergency Medicine showed that up to 20% of the patients who entered an emergency room left without ever seeing a doctor, because they got tired of waiting. Be prepared for that situation to get worse.

"When demand exceeds supply, doctors have a great deal of flexibility about who they see and when they see them. Not surprisingly, they tend to see those patients first who pay the highest fees. A New York Times survey of dermatologists in 2008 for example, found an extensive two-tiered system. For patients in need of services covered by Medicare, the typical wait to see a doctor was two or three weeks, and the appointments were made by answering machine.

"However, for Botox and other treatments not covered by Medicare (and for which patients pay the market price out of pocket), appointments to see those same doctors were often available on the same day, and they were made by live receptionists.

"As physicians increasingly have to allocate their time, patients in plans that pay below-market prices will likely wait longest. Those patients will be the elderly and the disabled on Medicare, low-income families on Medicaid, and (if the Massachusetts model is followed) people with subsidized insurance acquired in ObamaCare's newly created health insurance exchanges.

"Their wait will only become longer as more and more Americans turn to concierge medicine for their care. Although the model differs from region to region and doctor to doctor, concierge medicine basically means that patients pay doctors to be their agents, rather than the agents of third-party-payers such as insurance companies or government bureaucracies.

"For a fee of roughly $1,500 to $2,000, for example, a Medicare patient can form a new relationship with a doctor. This usually includes same day or next-day appointments. It also usually means that patients can talk with their physicians by telephone and email. The physician helps the patient obtain tests, make appointments with specialists and in other ways negotiate an increasingly bureaucratic health-care system.

"Here is the problem. A typical primary-care physician has about 2,500 patients (according to a 2009 study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), but when he opens a concierge practice, he'll typically take about 500 patients with him (according to MDVIP, the largest organization of concierge doctors): That's about all he can handle, given the extra time and attention those patients are going to expect. But the 2,000 patients left behind now must find another physician. So in general, as concierge care grows, the strain on the rest of the system will become greater.

"I predict that in the next several years concierge medicine will grow rapidly, and every senior who can afford one will have a concierge doctor. A lot of non-seniors will as well. We will quickly evolve into a two-tiered health-care system, with those who can afford it getting more care and better care.

"In the meantime, the most vulnerable populations will have less access to care than they had before ObamaCare became law."

Mr. Goodman is president of the National Center for Policy Analysis and the author of "Priceless: Curing the Healthcare Crisis" (Independent Institute, 2012).

A version of this article appeared August 15, 2012, on page A13 in the U.S. edition of The Wall Street Journal, with the headline: Why the Doctor Can't See You.

I am Simply Gail, whose government, unfortunately and bit by bit, continues to complicate our lives under the guise of caring for its people in hopes we will begin to feel we are not smart enough to make decisions for ourselves. 

The government of the United States was created for the people and by the people.