Mother's Day: Remembering a Time Past

I know raising a family is hard and I know how worn out you get. Things grow old and children grow up.
Trust me when I say the time will pass more quickly than you can ever imagine possible.

I wrote the following many years ago, although the older I get the more it seems like yesterday.  It was written as a birthday wish but it seems fitting for this time of year. Possibly some of you will be able to relate.

          I am so very tired. I don't think there is one drop of anything left in me for anyone. Mary, down the street, has the flu and her whiny, runny-nosed four-year-old and belligerent three-year-old have spent the entire day badgering our whiny, runny-nosed four-year-old and our belligerent three-year old. My head pounds. I burnt the stew I was making for Mary's family's dinner and I burnt my hand in my efforts to salvage it.


          Mr. Roger's sweetness drones from the television in the adjoining room---nauseating sweetness combined with seemingly unlimited patience that somehow keeps the kids occupied and blissfully quiet for a few minutes. 


          A familiar tune comes to my ears. Dave is walking up the driveway whistling his signature greeting. Opening the back door he quickly takes in the disarray, crosses the room in two quick strides, kisses me gently on the forehead and while holding me close, kindly asks me about my day. He pretends not to notice the sudden welling of tears that make my eyes sparkle.


          He loves me and he tells me so. My birthday is next week, on Saturday, and he asks me what I would like. We don't have much money but what I want at this time, more than anything in the world, doesn't cost a dime. Dare I tell him? Dare I? Yes. He loves me and he will understand.


          "What I want," I begin hesitantly and in a slightly choked up voice, "is to have you take the kids somewhere for the whole day so I can have the entire Saturday to myself."


          He looks sad. Have I hurt him? He doesn't understand.


          He holds me even closer and starts to speak. He stops. He has to clear his throat. Maybe he does understand but if he does, what can be so hard for him?  It won't cost anything; well, maybe a little if he takes them to a show or for a burger. But it won't cost much and he enjoys spending time with the kids. He is very thoughtful and good at taking them on occasional outings when I am busy.


          Yes, he is very thoughtful and therein lay his dilemma. 


          "I can't give you that for your birthday. A birthday is a very special occasion, especially for kids. How would they feel if they knew that what you wanted was a day, all by yourself, without them? I understand, but they could not."


          Yes, he is very thoughtful and very wise.


          Many years and many birthdays have passed. The kids are grown now and would fully understand the desire of a tired young mother to have a day to herself; would understand that it was not a reflection of her love for them but rather a chance to renew and refuel, that she could continue to give.


          I no longer need a Saturday alone. I have many of them. Now I have an over abundance of self to give and no children nearby to give to.


          I hear a familiar whistle coming up the drive. He is so kind and so thoughtful and so wise. He opens the door, views the quiet and spotless surroundings, crosses the floor in two strides, tenderly takes me in his arms and kisses my forehead. My eyes are sparkling and he pretends not to notice the sudden welling of tears.


Thank you to our daughter and five sons for the opportunity to be a mother ----- YOUR mother.

Thanks to our four daughters-in-law who are great wives/mothers to our sons and grandchildren.

Special love to my mother and mother-in-law, now deceased, for their kindness, love, care, and understanding.

May our Heavenly Father's choicest blessings and comfort continue to be with all of us, whoever and wherever we are throughout the world, as we undertake this most important of all roles---Motherhood.

Simply, Gail

       

   

A Mother's Day Tribute to Our First Born

On Mother's Day, 48 years ago, I was nearing the birth of our first child.  It was an exciting time for Dave and I. . .even though neither of us had a clue as to what parenthood was all about.

Three months later we decided we wanted another, thinking that a one-year-old was "grownup."  (As I have admitted before, Dave and I are both the youngest in our respective families---hence the clue-less-ness!)

On Mother's Day, 47 years ago, I was approaching the due date of our second child!

Christmas 46-1/2 years ago*

We are alike in many ways.  This time of year has me recalling one of those ways ---- the discomfort of sitting in Church meetings each Mother's Day listening to glowing talks about perfect mothers while silently sinking lower in our respective pews reviewing our motherhood weaknesses.

This Mother's Day she and her husband will be sitting in a congregation in Colorado with their only daughter.

As I was considering this post, an old song, co-written and sung by my favorite singer of long ago came to mind.

At the bottom of this post I have included a link where you can listen to Harry Belafonte sing Turn Around from his 1959 album "Love is a Gentle Thing."  Please take a moment to listen to it.

It is a beautiful song, as is Heidi, the mother of four.

Where are you going my little one, little one

Where are you going my baby my own
Turn around and you're two, turn around and you're four
Turn around and you're a young girl going out of the door
Turn around
Turn around
Turn around and you're a young girl
goin' out of the door

Where are you going my little one, little one
Dirndls and petticoats, where have you gone
Turn around and you're tiny, turn around and you're grown
Turn around and you're a young wife with babes of your own

Turn around, Turn around

Turn around and you're a young wife with babes of your own

Where are you going my little one, little one
Where are you going my baby my own

http://letras.terra.com/harry-belafonte/1183806/


Happy Mother's Day

* P.S. Heidi and Romm share the same May birthday, exactly one year apart!

What If . . . You Need to Light a Match in Adverse Conditions?

                                                                    

Have you ever tried to keep a match lit 
 in adverse conditions?

       Very difficult! Always frustrating! Often impossible!


                Unless you are using the simple-to-make 
                       5-minute match!


Perfect for times you need to start a fire when the wind            is blowing and/or you are lacking proper kindling.  


Quick and Cheap to make ---- 
invaluable to have!


Gather

• a box of wooden "strike anywhere" matches
• yarn cut into 18" lengths
• paraffin wax and
• a small empty tuna can or similar

1. Tie a piece of yarn just below the head of the match, then using a series of half-hitches (for the men) or chain stitches (for the women), wrap the entire length of the match stick with the yarn, leaving just enough area uncovered at the end of the  stick to allow you to hold the match. There should be a "tail" (or length) of yarn remaining.

2. Once the matches are complete, melt the paraffin wax in the can which is sitting in a pan of water over low heat. Watch carefully as wax is highly flammable! 

3. Holding each match by its remaining yarn "tail", lower the match into the melted wax. After a few moments remove the wax covered match and allow to dry on a piece of waxed paper or aluminum foil. Repeat the process.

4. When the wax is completely dry, cut the off the excess yarn and store the matches in a safe container. An empty plastic medicine vial is good for this.

I have yet to see one of these matches fail to light and have never needed to light a second one to get the job done!

I love quick, cheap and useful things you can recreate yourself. I hope you do also! I am 

          Simply, Gail

Turning Negatives into Positives . . . Changing the Way We View Our Circumstances

When you look at this image what do you see?

And if you look again, do you see the same image?


Do you see a pretty young maiden. . .?  


Or do you see a haggard old woman? 


And when you look again, do you see the same image?


I rediscovered this fascinating drawing when I was busy cleaning out my bursting-at-the-seams file cabinet last week. 


I have had this illustration for years but this time it vibrantly illustrated for me, the different ways different individuals view life. 


 Negatively?  Positively?  


Which ones are the happiest?


Which ones are we drawn to?

In A.A. Milne's Winnie the Pooh, Tigger is cheerful and enthusiastic.  Another character Eeyore the donkey, while lovable, "is dismally gloomy for almost eternity." 


If you say "Good Morning to Eeyore he replies http://www.just-pooh.com/assets/audio/eeyore/eyegmorn.wav

To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy is to set our own conditions to the events of each day. To do this is to condition circumstances instead of being conditioned by them.
                                                                                                                         Ralph Waldo Trine


We can take simple steps to make sure we, and subsequently others, have a good positive day.  If we can't make it an entire day, we can start with just the morning, or maybe just an hour.

Happiness increases automatically when we

• Look for the good in any situation 
• View a glass as half full rather than half empty
• Count blessings rather than problems

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life: 

• It turns what we have into enough, and more --- 
• It turns denial into acceptance --- 
• Chaos to order ---
• Confusion to clarity ---
• It can turn a meal into a feast ---
• A house into a home, 
• A stranger into a friend.

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. 

                                                                                                                                                                                                         (thanks to Melody Beattie for her wonderful insight insight and reminders on gratitude)

Warning: Attitude Adjustments don't happen overnight!

But they can happen! At first we have to be aware of how, over and over, our attitude can change as fast as our situation ----- and practice, over and over, turning the negative into the positive ---- as often as necessary.

There is no time like the present to begin . . .

A Short Prayer

Dear Lord,

     So far today, I’ve done all right. I haven’t gossiped, haven’t lost my temper, haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or over indulgent. I’m very thankful for that.

    But, in a few minutes, God, I’m going to get out of bed. And from then on, I’m probably going to need a lot more help.                                                               author unknown

      

Cob corn in nature's own microwaveable shake-and-eat packaging!

My thanks to Ken for teaching me the seemingly impossible --- 

The "Bestest"! Quickest! and Neatest! Way to Cook and Shuck an Ear of Corn


I happened on the recipesfromgrandma.com website two weeks ago and couldn't wait for the first corn of the season to hit the grocery shelves so I could try it out.


That was earlier today. I really didn't think it would work---- even after watching him do it. (With modern technology, these days, seeing is believing is not always the case.)  


But. . .It did! And it was!

These are Ken's word-for-word directions: Basically, put two corn cobs complete with husks and silks in the microwave, and cook for eight minutes. Cut the husk off one end, and shake the cob out.

Can’t be any easier!

Actually, he shows you which end to cut off in his video.


See for yourself by clicking on the below link.  He is easy to watch and the introductory music is perfect.


http://www.recipesfromgrandma.com/tag/microwave-corn-on-cob/


Thanks Ken.  Hope you don't mind me spreading the word.

It can't get more simple than this and this is what I am all about because I am
Simply, Gail

The best help we can give our addicts/alcoholics is. . .

NO help!


Though harsh sounding, this is what we have learned over our years of seeking help for our addicted loved one.


We tried everything we knew in the attempt to fix our addict, gave too many "second chances", and much more in our quest to cure our loved one of these dreaded two diseases. 


We became addicted to our addict!


What the years of trying, like so many others have been doing to help their loved one, to change him/cure him/assist him/fill-in-what-YOU-have-done we learned that no matter what we do, we can't fix him. 


Any help WE gave basically added -- not aided. 


Years of "trying" -- in giving our all -- experience, hours of counseling and years of support groups led us to understand that addiction and alcoholism is unlike any other illness.


Six years ago Dave gave a talk which evolved into a small book.
(See previous post of April 20 "The Best Laid Plans" for more about that.) 

     We certainly don't know it all but what we have learned has seemingly helped many others. 
     What we know for certain is that our Heavenly Father gave us each the ability to make our own decisions and then reap the consequences or rewards of those decisions.  
     We do know that "unconditional love" is not taking these consequences upon ourselves in our effort to protect our loved ones from their often harsh reality. 




Unconditional love is instead, not giving up on our loved ones emotionally but letting them have the dignity to face and embrace their consequences. 


If you are among the many affected by the addictive habits of another, hopefully we can help a little by making Dave's book available.  Contact us at davengail@infowest.com. We ask $4.00 to cover the cost of printing and postage (in the United States).


Again, although life is rarely simple, I remain 
Simply, Gail

The Best Laid Plans . . .

No matter what wonderful dreams we have for   our children and how hard we to try to teach them to make correct choices, some of them choose another path. 

One of our children is a recovering alcoholic/drug addict—currently in his seventh year of sobriety. We are proud of his strength and determination.

Our learning path slowly led us to the fact that the best help we had to offer him was NO help!

After years of struggling---trying to help him, save him, get help for him, and help for ourselves---we finally started to “get it.”

When Dave gave an LDS Church presentation on the topics of Agency and Accountability (Choices and Consequences) six years ago, it quickly took on a life of its own, evolving by request (totally by word-of-mouth and e-mail) into a small 50 page book, which was printed a few at a time as needed. We quit counting in December 2010 when it passed the 500 copy mark.

Our son gave permission for the talk and for the book. In fact, he even gives them to others.

While geared to members of the LDS Church (Mormon) and their understanding, it is a message applicable to anyone of any faith who is experiencing the horrors of addiction in a family member or other loved one.

Since we continue to have people of all faiths request additional copies of “The Yellow Book” to share with family and friends, we feel it must be beneficial.

The Scriptures referenced in this book are taken from the four standard works of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:  The King James Version of the Holy Bible, The Book of Mormon - Another Testament of Jesus Christ*, The Doctrine and Covenants, and The Pearl of Great Price.

* The Book of Mormon is a volume of Holy Scripture comparable to the Bible.  It is a record of God’s dealings with the ancient inhabitants of the Americas and contains, as does the Bible, the fullness of the everlasting gospel.

If you are interested in The Yellow Book, please e-mail us at davengail@infowest.com.  We ask $4 to cover the cost of printing and postage (within the United States).


I am Simply, Gail . . . but life isn't always simple.