A Simply Creative Approach to Retirement Living

The following is fiction. . . . how tempting if it were reality. Kudos to a very creative, although unknown, senior citizen. 

In 2003, my husband and I were on a cruise through the Caribbean islands aboard a Princess liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that the entire the staff - from the ship's officers to the busboys - seemed very familiar with this lady.

I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she owned the  line but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye 
and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said,
"I understand you have been on this ship for the last
four cruises."

"Yes, that's true."

"Can you tell me why?"

And the lady replied,

"There is no nursing home in my future. A Princess Cruise Ship is the perfect retirement home for the old and feeble.

The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. On the Princess I can get a long-term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.

That leaves $65 a day for gratuities, which are actually more like  $10 per day.

I can have as many as 10 meals a day (of fantastic food, not institutional food!) if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week.)

Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

They provide free toothpaste, razors, soap and shampoo.

They even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you. 

I get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days!

TV broken? Light bulb needs changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No problem. Not only will they fix everything immediately, they will apologize for my inconvenience.

Clean sheets and towels every day, without my even having to ask for them.

There is always a doctor on board.

If I fall in the nursing home and break a hip, I am on Medicare. If I fall and break a hip on the Princess, they will upgrade me to a suite for the rest of my life.

Do I want to travel the world? The Princess will have a ship ready to go wherever I want to go.

And, when I finally die, hopefully they will just dump me over the side at no charge!


What a golden way to cruise through your final years! The only gold I know of for us old folks is the gold in our teeth (if we are rich) and the color of our urine.